Married in Vegas was just a drunk dare. Forced to live with him and be his wife...well, it's safe to say that was never part of the plan.

Me: Ask me what happens in Vegas…
Samantha: What happens in Vegas?
Me: Let me tell you.

What happens is that you get “make out with strangers and pee in a parking lot” drunk.

TIE THE KNOT WITH A GUY YOU JUST MET.

Then allegedly participate in depraved group activities with him and his friends in the honeymoon suite of a five-star hotel.

But that’s not even the worst part.

Because after an epic walk of shame, you find out he’s some insanely famous bad-boy quarterback who’s in the midst of cleaning up his act.

So now, you have to pretend to like him… sober…until you can skip town with an annulment and a shirt that reads, “I’d hit that.”

Except for bam—tiny hiccup, his personality cancels out his hot AF face.

And let’s not mention how you definitely took a trip to pound town with his friends.

So, yeah. That’s what happens in Vegas.

You get Knot so Lucky even when you think you hit the jackpot.